EULOGY: CATHERINE PASEK, CELEBRANT
Geoff was born in the Halifax General Hospital on Monday the 24th of March 1940, the first child of Clifford and Eleanor Green. Seven years later little brother Stewart arrived completing the family. Geoff’s first home was in Southowram and then they moved north to Illingworth.
Geoff was asthmatic, a condition which plagued him all his life. His breathing difficulty meant he couldn’t do sports and he always considered himself the underdog as a result. At the age of 6 he went to Bermerside Open Air School in Skircoat Green a convalescent institution for children who could benefit from open air lessons. He remembers his fellow pupils encircling him and making bullying chants about his asthma. Not the best of times.
He passed the exam to go to Clare Hall school but decided not to attend as his friends weren’t going. Instead he went up to JH Whitley secondary modern where his education was somewhat below his intelligence and capabilities.
Geoff’s first job was at Whitaker’s Brewery in 1958 as an office boy. But even then his asthma haunted him. He got sacked due to the fact that whenever he ran errands he’d come back puffing and panting. His bosses were so terrified he would drop down dead on their watch that they let him go. His Dad, Clifford, wasn’t well pleased!
Geoff’s next position was as a debt collector for Halifax Creditors’ Association. He hated it. His boss was akin to Ebenezer Scrooge and Geoff was paid a pittance. The roof leaked above his desk and dripped onto his paperwork which was all done with a fountain pen so created quite a mess. He did stay in that job for almost 30 years and even worked in tandem in that business once he launched his own market stalls and record shop.
But back to that part of Geoff’s life later. First let’s hear how he met the love of his life, Diana.
Geoff was a member of Trinity Methodist Church and was part of the ‘Happy Gang’ who used to perform at different Sunday schools and church halls. This is where he cut his comedy teeth. He could make folk laugh. WHAT A BUZZ! Diana’s Dad was caretaker at the church and one day Diana came in after school and saw Geoff there looking cool in his drainpipes. He was 3 years older than her, different to the other boys; he was rock n roll. She instantly liked him. The feeling was mutual.
They started seeing one another but when Janice was ‘on the way’ they had to arrange a hasty wedding. The first thing Geoff’s Dad said to him when he found out Diana was pregnant was: ”Ya bloody tatie – I thought I’d told you about that!”
The wedding was a Thursday afternoon – 22nd October 1959. Geoff was out debt collecting that morning but somehow managed to fit it in. Exit stage left, enter, stage right! The ceremony was followed by a feast of Beef and chips at Stef Turczak’s cafe at King Cross. The wedding cake was beautiful. Janice was born the following February.
The happy couple were married for 65 years.
Initially they lived at Diana’s Grandma’s and to earn money to buy their own house Geoff did other jobs, including a paper round as well as his day job at the debt collectors. He worked his socks off which was likely not great for his asthma. Diana and baby Janice joined him on the Sunday round, using the pram to transport the heavy papers. This family was quite a team.
They soon earned enough for a deposit on a house on Hague St. It cost £400 but because he wasn’t 21 Geoff couldn’t get a mortgage. This meant the property had to go in Diana’s parents’ names until Geoff managed to scrape enough cash together to pay solicitors to change the name on the deeds. He was determined to have that nest for his little family.
Wanting to better himself Geoff went to night school to study English language, commerce, business and book keeping. Skills which would hold him in good stead later. He met some good chums there, including John O’Rourke and Peter Thurman who he later caught up with in his Thespian days.
Diana and Geoff loved to go to the theatre and the pictures. One day he went to the Halifax Playhouse and was chatting with his good friend Geoff Daniels, another fine Thespians comic actor. The lady doing front of house looked Geoff Green up and down then turned to Geoff Daniels and said: “Does your friend act?” The rest is history. That lady just happened to be Pauline Law – later Pauline Robinson and she saw Geoff’s potential right there. His training with the Happy Gang had reaped rewards.
Geoff went on to do so many brilliant performances at the Playhouse including A Doll’s House, Macbeth, Hobson’s Choice, Spring and Port Wine, The Odd Couple and A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum. Janice remembers helping him learn his lines.
There was one time he walked on stage and the audience started clapping and laughing just with the anticipation. This wasn’t even a funny play but by this point his reputation was cemented.
Music was Geoff’s other great love. He loved Sinatra, Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis. He was a member of the Jerry Lee Lewis fan club and he and Diana once got the chance to meet the rock n roll star in his dressing room after a concert at St George’s Hall, Bradford. Happy days.
Geoff adored markets and charity shops. He was a bit of a hoarder with books, records, tapes, CDs, DVDs. He had many duplicates and several, filed away in his bedroom, still remain unopened. Disney, Sherlock Holmes, i could go on and on. He also loved penguins. great taste I think. Who doesn’t like a cute penguin?!
He was one of the first market traders when the Piece Hall opened its doors in the early 70s. Geoff’s first day of trading he’d had no chance to get any stock in. Instead he had to sell some of his own personal vinyl to stem the gap. He and Diana soon discovered wholesale buying and used to go to Manchester on Thursday afternoons to build up record stock. Soon they had two stalls with Janice and Peter working for them on a weekend.
Shops like Bradleys Records didn’t want the punk rockers in their shops but they were always welcome on Geoff’s stalls. He went on to open a record shop on Union Street South and then finally moved to Groove records on Westgate until retirement. Things had got more competitive and it was time to sell up and move on.
To supplement his pension he had a Christmas job at Asda on Battinson Road. He was such a good worker they kept him on and he ended up making doughnuts for a living. Not bad for a man who said he couldn’t cook.
As a funny man himself he loved his comedians, Peter Sellars, Laurel and Hardy, Tony Hancock. He was a member of the Hancock Appreciation Society. He didn’t like vulgar humour though.
He was community minded and enjoyed fellowship with good friends. He was also President twice of the Probus Club at St Judes. He liked to make a difference.
Geoff loved food and especially puddings. A good sticky toffee pudding lit up his day. If he was out for a meal he would read the menu from back to front. Puddings first, of course.
Diana and Geoff enjoyed travelling. When they were younger they went to Cornwall but eventually travelled all over Europe the USA and Canada. He managed to get to Graceland and immerse himself in all things Elvis. Bliss. He even smoked a hubba bubba pipe with a snake around his neck in Marrakech. He’d give most things a go for a laugh!
Janice was determined to give her Dad lots of experiences, from camping and water skiing to motorcycling and abseiling. Once she even took him on a tour of this very Crematorium! Geoff was fascinated by the music people would choose. He laughed when the Chapel Attendant mentioned Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis.
And here we are with that song heralding his entrance today. Bravo on the humour Geoff!
He always appreciated beautiful women and was a complete charmer right to the end. By all accounts in his last months when when living with dementia at Bankfield Manor care home Geoff said to one of his carers:
‘You’re better looking than a horse!”
It was of course meant as a total compliment.
It will have all been all in the delivery!
FINAL POEM: “A CHEEKY FAREWELL TO GEOFF
I’d like to devote a final poem to the wonderful, unforgettable Mr Green. It’s entitled ‘A Cheeky Farewell to Geoff’:
Here lies dear Geoff, our comic star,
Whose punchlines travelled near and far.
Once lord of stage, vinyl, discs galore,
If music played, Geoff knew the score.
A record shop with style and chat,
He’d sell you jazz – and laugh at that.
From scratchy Beatles to a Presley tune
And Jerry Lee Jewis, oh, Geoff was a boon.